


Automated Kismet

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Biting, Computer Viruses, Hate Sex, Horse Jokes, Human Auto-Responder | Lil Hal, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Bathroom, Revenge, Scratching, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:28:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25874386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dirk gets a porn virus and slowly becomes more and more comfortable with the idea of murder.
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Dirk Strider, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 10
Kudos: 81





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Homicidal thoughts

Dirk sat at his desk, staring at the monstrosity in front of him. A poorly drawn, pixelated horse cock stared into his soul, mocking him with it’s horrible pixels while his speakers blared a song with the repeated phrase ‘you are an idiot’ followed by laughing. He was not having a good time, as you probably could tell and he honestly deserved it. He had downloaded a stupid fucking porn game that was advertised as being able to make him cum in seconds and showed off muscular men with gigantic dongs and here he was, slowly growing flaccid in his sweatpants and his frustration growing with not only himself but this stupid fucking virus he just couldn’t get off his stupid fucking computer no matter what he did. He had been at this for a good twenty minutes now, unable to get the stupid thing off and his speakers weren’t muting and he absolutely knows that Dave was hearing this shit and he swears to whatever piece of shit god is out there, he is going to find who did this and make them  _ pay _ .

He flinched when he heard knocking and nearly threw his chair at the door out of anger but instead, he adjusted his now almost completely flaccid dick in his stupid sweatpants and got up, opening the door to glare at his brother. “You have one minute.” He practically hissed out, his teeth grinding together. If Dave had any sort of self preservation, he wouldn’t mention the way his jaw was moving back and forth, pressing his teeth together tightly and uncomfortably because it was the only thing keeping him from reaching out and strangling him.

“Dude, unclench your jaw. You should see a therapist or something to get rid of all that anger you got cause otherwise, you’re gonna crack a couple of teeth and surgery is more expensive than therapy, just saying. Anyway,” Dave seemed oblivious to his death glare and his murderous urges, “could you turn that off or at least put on headphones? It was a cool song for the first ten minutes but now it’s kinda concerning me and I really don’t want it stuck in my head for more than a week, thanks. You remember the last time a song with laughing got stuck in my head? Egbert thought I was fuckin’ insane and-” Dirk slammed his door shut, effectively cutting off the rest of Dave's stupid fucking rant. Curse these stupid fucking thin ass walls and his stupid computer and-... Headphones. The virus was right. He was an idiot.

He rubbed his eye with one hand while he walked over to his small, uncomfortable bed and grabbed his headphones which were charging quietly, a little blue LED light making an annoyingly bright beam into his otherwise pretty dark room. Well, aside from his strobe light of a computer which was lighting up his dark room with bright red, pink, white and blue colors that just nauseated him. He turned on his headphones and relaxed when they automatically connected to his computer, the music transferring to his headphones and reducing the music to an almost silent, barely there hum. Just to regain some of his composure and ease his headache, he put the headphones under his pillow and sighed as silence filled his room like a dick in a twink… Or something equally poetic. Now, it was time to work on getting this stupid fucking virus off his fucking computer and kill the asshole who ruined his jerk off sesh. Can’t a guy jerk it to furry porn and cry in peace nowadays? Can’t have shit in Detroit.. Except he was in Texas, in his apartment, almost completely alone other than his brother who was still rambling about random shit outside his door. He needed to get that idiot a muzzle or just take out his vocal cords. Everyone would thank him, honestly. The only idiot that wasn’t tired of hearing Dave's ADHD induced rants was Karkat who actively tried to apply common sense to his arguments which was impossible. Dirk learned that long ago. No amount of convincing could make Dave change his opinion on whether or not he could fight a goose. Fucking idiot.

He rubbed his temple, clicking the ‘x’ box on the pop up ad for hot single horses in his area and for just a few seconds, he gained view of his background and his taskbar but it was covered up too soon by another pop up with weird, 2000’s smiley faces and odd dancing people. This was taking a toll on his enamel and mental health already and he only just fucking started. Who fucking does this shit anyway? None of his files on display seemed to be edited or deleted, his background didn’t change and neither did his task bar but something  _ must _ have changed. There’s no fucking way this asshat just advertised a virus that didn’t actually do anything. It must be collecting as much information as it could, otherwise why would it exist? Just to taunt people? He grabbed his phone and checked his PayPal, his Venmo, anything connected to his money but everything was there. Not a dime out of place. Okay, so this was just to humiliate him, great! Just great! Fucking perfect, this was just fucking dandy and peachy. Just what he wanted. A virus that voiced all of his thoughts about himself, beautiful. He debated just trashing the computer but quickly shot down the idea, flinching at the idea of anything getting lost or his thousand dollar machine getting destroyed because he was too pathetic to get a fucking virus off. A fucking porn virus no less. He could do this. He was fucking top of his coding class right next to some asshole that barely even showed up, he could get a porn virus off his computer.

\----

He couldn’t get a porn virus off his computer. This was humiliating. Absolutely humiliating and he was debating killing himself for it. Just get this done with, chop off his head and leave Dave with a broken, shitty computer with terabytes of porn on it and MLP fanfiction, and stuff like furry art and commission details. That shit got fucking weird at times. Why would someone want a blonde woman shopping for Wonder Bread? Well, he’d never know and he didn’t question it because he got a fat load of cash after that, he felt like he just sucked someone off and got paid a fucking lot. He’d suck anyone's dick if they paid him that much. But that isn’t what he should be thinking about right now. He should be focusing on getting his stupid computer back from it’s virus hell but Karkat was shouting in the living room and he was kinda hungry and thirsty so he might as well get up and tell him to shut the fuck up because he was already having a stressful day and he didn’t need Karkat yelling at Dave for saying something about a celebrity named Chris something and irritating his headache further.

He got out of bed and groaned when the stupid fucking song blared out of his speakers the fucking second he opened his door. His headphones must’ve died and that meant he was going to ruin whatever hate weird troll thing Dave had going on with Karkat and that meant he was going to get shit for it for fucking weeks from Dave because the little shit had no idea how to talk about his feelings honestly and somehow, Karkat was more oblivious to Dave’s advances than Jake was to his. He shuffled his way to the kitchen, ignoring the questions Karkat was throwing Dave’s way while he grabbed a rice cake from the pantry. It tasted like cardboard but it was the only thing that didn’t make him puke when he had a headache. The sudden bright lights in the kitchen hurt but he tried ignoring it, fantasizing about his nice dark room as he grabbed himself an orange flavored monster. Hopefully the caffeine would help his headache go back to a dull thud instead of feeling like someone was finger fucking the side of his temple with acrylics on.

“Bro!” Dave’s voice made him flinch and open his eyes, getting two very much unwanted assaults on his senses. Why must he stand for this? What is standing in between him and going apeshit? Why must his morals and dignity keep him from pursuing his true passion, his true nature? Civilization was a mistake. There is nothing stopping them from going back to their primal ways, only hubris. Nothing is stopping him from reducing back into a dumb caveman who only thought about getting laid and eating. Why couldn’t they all just go back to the simpler time of hunting and gathering and fucking, without these horrid machines in the way? Why-

“Bro, stop spacing out!” Dave was suddenly right next to him, taking his drink just in case he dropped it while he spaced out. “Dude, I asked you earlier, could you please turn that crap down? It’s giving me a headache and Karkat hates it.” He gestured to Karkat who seemed vaguely concerned about his well being but mostly just seemed upset their movie was interrupted.

It was time to come clean. It was time to confess his sins and tell them why his computer was blaring insults with random, almost mechanical, insane like laughter screaming from it. He hoped Dave still had enough respect for him to kill him after this. “I…” God, the humiliation. He was the computer guy, rivaled only by his better half Roxy who could hack into anything, he should have never been able to get a virus like this. He should have known better. He should have just ignored it like every other ad and continued his mindless jack off session, imagining some attractive guy perving on him through his computer camera and getting off on him just jacking it but no, he could never be that fucking smart. He was useless, pathetic. Just some horny slut that didn’t think about anything but cock. He really hoped Dave could murder him after this confession. “I got a virus…” He whispered the shameful confession to keep Dave from hearing him but that didn’t hinder Dave whatsoever.

“You….. A virus… How? Dude, you’re like, the cleanest person I know, there’s no way you got some sort of virus. You’re probably just dehydrated, drink some cold water then peppermint tea and that should sort things out. Here, sniff a few times for me-” Dave reached out to touch Dirks forehead, to feel his temperature and he felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment and shame towards the fact his brother was a fucking idiot.

“No you fuckwad!” Karkat spoke up before he could, grabbing his wrist before Dave could even get close to his pretty pretty face. He decided against calling Dave out for blushing. “He has a computer virus. Do you really think he’d blast this music nonstop? No one likes this shit but you, Dave.” Karkat growled, his voice cracking and almost staticy due to the fact the poor guy was still going through voice changes. Troll puberty was weird and very fucking long apparently. It was the only thing that made him sympathetic towards the angry and loud little troll.

“Ohhh…. Haha, oh my god, you got a computer virus? Dude, I thought you were-”

“I know!” He snapped unintentionally, a bit tired of hearing seemingly everyone insulting him even though it's only been himself, his computer and Dave insulting him. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, his shades lifting up to accommodate his stupid fucking fingers. “Sorry. Just… Tired of that fucking stupid thing. I have tried everything. Everything! It’s just not fucking working, no matter what I do and I don’t think it’s deleting anything so whats the fucking point?! Why did this asshole create a virus that didn’t do jack shit?!”

Dave frowned, glancing over at Karkat. “Uhh… You know viruses are supposed to just steal your private information, right?”

Dirk stared at his little brother. He was slowly getting more and more comfortable with the idea of murder and he tried conveying that through his eyes, staring deep into his brothers soul to try and telepathically project all the ideas of just how he could kill him into his brain. Poison.. Knives… Choking, stabbing, drowning.

“Why don’t you show us your fucking computer and we can look at it? Give it a fresh set of eyes.” Karkat suggested, seemingly the only one who is noticing how comfortable he is with the idea of murder at the moment. He sighed, rolling his eyes behind his shades which hurt like a motherfucker, another wave of pain pulsing through his scalp like… Like something that pulsed. Having these two bumbling idiots around his very fucking expensive shit made him nervous as all hell but fuck it, why not? Why not let the two people who could barely download a picture without fucking something up near his computer? Why doesn’t he just let them fix the fucking problem? What could go wrong?

  
  
  


So much could go wrong. He stared in disbelief at his now very much fixed screen, the virus no longer running through his speakers, no longer giving him an aching headache. This was fucking bullshit. How? How did he..? He tried everything and  _ Karkat Vantas  _ is the one who fixes it. Karkat, the guy who’s computer literally exploded during a game. Karkat, the guy who’s keyboard needs to be replaced regularly because he smashes the buttons too much. Karkat, the guy who can’t even get to his files without help. Karkat, the guy  _ who thought Yandere Simulator was a well coded game. _

“Dirk…? You okay, bro…?” Daves voice was distant and irritating on his sensitive ears and he had to hold back the urge to get a fucking paper clip and pull his ear drums out then gauge his stupid eyes out because he couldn’t fucking believe this shit. He was at the top of his coding class, he’s been working with this type of stuff for years, he has astounded people left and right with his coding skills and he gets fucking bested by  _ Karkat Vantas _ . Not only was his ego completely destroyed but his pride, his self confidence, his intelligence, everything. He was no longer anything, just an empty shell of a man. A man who got bested by a mutant troll who has gone through games like they’re candy because he just sucks at playing them. The guy who can barely complete a level of a puzzle game without behind told the fucking answer. This was beyond humiliating. He was going to site this day in his suicide note. Markdown this day in history, the day he was bested by an absolute idiot. The day he, Dirk Annabelle Strider, was bested-

“Okay buddy, we’re gonna leave you alone now. I’ll get some ice cream from the store later, hopefully that’ll get you out of…. Whatever funk you’re in.” Dave interrupted his thoughts and left, Karkat trailing behind him. They were murmuring to each other. Probably talking about how much of a fucking idiot he was, just rubbing pure sea salt and lemon juice into his gaping wound. He might as well end it all now. There was no point in living any more.

No. No, there was a point to living and that point was beating Karkat and regaining his honor. He was going to find whatever little shit made this stupid little virus and he was going to kill-.... Have a friendly chat with them, preferably with his fists and a knife involved but he could settle for a big rock. Straight up go Cain on their ass, whoever this little motherfuck maybe. It didn’t matter if this person was a child, male, female or something else, old or disabled, he was going to rock their shit with his own two fists and make them pay for humiliating him. Make them pay for letting someone as stupid as Karkat defeat their stupid little virus. Chop off their stupid fucking fingers for making something so god damn fucking annoying.

Unfortunately, his plans for revenge were gonna have to wait because he had coding class in a few hours and there was no way in hell he was going to fail that class or let anyone else try to best him. In that class, he was god and he intended to fucking stay that way, no matter what kinda asshole shat all over his computer. There was no way he was ever going to humiliate himself in that class where he was properly respected and treated with the utmost fucking dignity and he was going to get his  _ fucking revenge _ .


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk gets fuuuuuuuuuucked

Dirk sat in class, exhausted and aching. His bones ached, his head ached, his eyes somehow hurt, everything was just in pain. Probably because he hasn’t slept in over twenty four hours and his only sustenance has been copious amounts of Monster Energy Drink and rice cakes because, despite how fucking brilliant and amazing he was, his tummy got a bit sensitive when his head hurt. Even gods got tummy aches sometimes, deal with it pussies. He opened up his notebook, tapping his foot quietly as he went through his notes from the previous lesson. Yes, he was aware that it would be faster to write all his notes down on his computer but he was trying to challenge himself, improve his handwriting and get to the point where he could write something down at lightning speed. The lights in the classroom made his perfectly white paper nearly glow, hurting his sensitive eyes even behind his shades. There was no real reason he needed to wear them, he just got into the habit of it to help Dave feel less self conscious when they were younger and now he just wore them constantly. He’d rather let people make fun of him rather than Dave… God, that was too cheesy. He’d need to punch Dave in the shoulder when he got home just to refrain from looking too soft or gullible.

The chair next to him scraped loudly, making pain shoot throughout his head, further pissing him off. Whoever just sat next to him was going to be his enemy of the week. He looked over to politely tell them to shut the fuck up when his heart sank. Oh no. Oh god no. Why the ever loving fuck was  _ Hal _ there?! He fucking never showed up to class, claimed others were ‘stealing his braincells’ and ‘hindering his progress’. He wasn’t even being dramatic this time, those were actual quotes from the man himself. If Dirk had a god complex, Hal had whatever was above that. Even Hal’s overconfidence made him cringe sometimes and think ‘oh wow, this guy needs some help’.

“Hal.” He tried not to spit out the half assed greeting, knowing he looked miserable and he probably looked hung over. His back was hunched over his desk, his head nearly resting on the small plastic thing. He looked pathetic but his desire to look amazing at all times was severely dulled due to the fact his fucking everything hurt and he just wanted to make it through this class so he could find someplace nice and quiet and dark then curl up and die.

“Annabelle.” Hal responded smoothly and the blood in his veins turned to ice. That must have just been a coincidence. There was no fucking way Hal knew his middle name.

“Pardon?” He asked, trying to fool him. He wasn’t caught off guard, in fact, he was still on guard and his guards were as alert as ever. They weren’t even fucking blinking, thats how on guard his guards were. They couldn’t even be phased by a hair in their eyes.

“What? Not used to people greeting you via middle name? That kind of pathetic, Annabelle, but don’t let me tell you what to do. God forbid anyone does.” Hal replied smugly before pulling out his laptop, humming an all too familiar tune. It was the fucking song. The fucking song. He was going to kill this man. He was going to murder him. After every class, Hal went to the third bathroom down two hallways and to the left, the one no one was in at this time because the people closest to it were still in class. That’s where he was going to kill him. It would be easy to clean up, there was a janitor's closet right next to it and he was sure there was bleach in there. No one would suspect a thing. In fact, people would thank him. They would thank him for eradicating the fucking menace, the  _ rodent _ that was Hal.

Turns out, class does not go by as fast as he would like when planning to murder someone. How would he do it? How would he end a mans life? Slam his head against the wall till he stopped moving? Drowning him in the toilet? Perhaps gouging his eyes out and leaving him to bleed to death. He tried plotting some sort of coherent plan but every single sound Hal made next to him only irritated his headache further, only made it harder to think and it didn’t help that everything Hal ever did only ever irritated him and the fucking bastard seemed to try and make as much noise as possible. Flipping his pages obnoxiously, tapping his pencil, scratching his head, humming and clicking his tongue, tapping his fucking fingers. Oh god, his fucking  _ fingers. _ The same fingers that caused this headache, the same fingers that programmed that stupid fucking virus, the same fingers that fucking _humiliated him in front of his brother_. He fucking hated those damn fingers and he was going to make sure Hal knew it.

He didn’t even notice he was glaring at Hal’s hands until the guy suddenly stood up and class was just… Over. He looked down at his notebook and felt like crying. No notes, he had no idea what just went down. Hopefully he could talk to the professor later.. He was a well liked student and this professor was one of the very very VERY few nice ones so hopefully, he could get a summary of when down today. He picked up his shit and headed out, waving goodbye to the few people he knew in the class and went straight down the hallway, making his way to the practically abandoned bathroom Hal seemed to frequent which was.. Weird. Maybe he was just a shy person when it came to pissing? Whatever, that literally didn’t matter right now. Right now, he needed to get his fists on Hal’s face, preferably near his eyes.

Getting to the bathroom was the easy part, waiting for Hal to show up was the harder part and he was beginning to get tempted to just… Find him and seduce him into coming to the bathroom with him. He could seduce someone, right? Right? He could seduce someone, he was so sexy, no one would be able to resist him.. His reflection proved him otherwise, however. His face looked too pale, to devoid of colors and his hair was a greasy mess, he had the stupidest pimples on his chin and he just looked… Like a dead person. Yeah, there was no way he’d be able to seduce someone. He sighed, adjusting his shades as the bathroom door suddenly opened and Hal walked in, looking startled the second he saw Dirk but his surprise melted into a smug little fucking smirk.

“Why, hello there.” He cooed and the noise hurt his brain.

“How did you get my middle name, you fucking asshole?” He spat out, turning around so he could look at Hal properly, trying to glare into his soul and intimidate him.

“Oh, it was easy. Take advantage of a horny, mindless slut and steal his information. That horny, mindless slut just happened to be you. Really Dirk, you should have just ignored it. It was so obviously a trap but it seems you just go stupid whenever you see a cock, huh?” Hal’s words made his blood boil and his desire to punch him in the face only grew as he continued to talk.

“I could sue you.” He threatened but it was an empty threat. There was no way he could do that, he didn’t have enough money and even though Roxy did have that sort of money, he would never be able to ask something like this of her.

“Oh sweetie,” The pet name made him want to gag, “you don’t have enough money to do that.” Hal started walking closer, getting closer and closer until his face was right within punching distance. “Even if you did, I could just take it from you and you have no evidence of this ever happening. There’s no cameras in this bathroom, there’s no cameras near it, the only person who even thinks I was the one who got into your computer is you. You have nothing. Like always, you’re just a mindless whore that somehow got to the top of his class. You know, everyone thinks you suck off the prof after each lesson. I was wondering… Is it true? Did you sleep your way here? You certainly have the legs and face for it.”

“Why the hell are you doing this to me? What’s the purpose of gaining all this information if you’re just going to torture me with it?”

“You just answered your own question, Dirky.” Hal got closer, pushing Dirk against the counter, trapping him against it with his arms. “I’m doing this to take you down a few pegs, show you that you aren’t god. Someone had to do it eventually, what better way than to get all of your information and use it against you?”

Dirk saw red and punched Hal in the stomach, right below his ribcage and fuck it felt so good to see him back up and hold his stomach. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and he was riding high on adrenaline, his anger finally taking front and relieving him. Hal only stayed hunched over for a few seconds before he stood up straight, glaring at him before grabbing his face and practically slamming him against the counter and before he could protest, there was a mouth on his neck and a hand down his pants and oh, this was kinda nice actually.

At first, he was very fucking freaked out but when Hal bit down he dissolved and let himself get picked up and set on the counter, gasping when Hal suddenly slammed his head against the mirror, black dots swimming in his eyes. His head hurt a lot more than it did before and he could barely process what was happening until his pants were being pulled off.

“You’re fucking insane.” He seethed but didn’t fight back, letting Hal rub his dick through his boxers.

“No, I’m just using you like the glory hole you are.” Hal spat back, a bit of rage in his eyes and just seeing him the tiniest bit mad fueled his ego more than anything else in the world.

He grabbed Hal and pulled him closer, biting his neck as a sort of revenge, trying to leave a mark that would last. If Hal was going to fuck him, he was going to make sure he remembered it and he was going to absolutely make sure there was evidence. He moaned quietly when Hal grinded against him, knowing that whatever they were going to do was going to hurt for a while but hey, at least this was consensual. They soon pulled away from each other to undress, Dirk making quick work of getting his stupid clothes off and nearly made an embarrassing noise of surprise when Hal yanked him closer before he could get his jeans off fully.

Hal ducked down and got in between his legs, his rolled up pants sort of trapping him there and fuck, Dirk would be lying if he said this wasn’t one of his fantasies. Getting fucked by a random guy in a public bathroom, the guy with his clothes barely even off and if Hal just used him as a fleshlight… That alone might make him cum. Hal didn’t have a bad looking dick either, he just hoped the asshole knew how to use it.

“Like what you see?” Hal smirked, looking down at him with that stupid smug little face and he held back the urge to punch him again.

“You look like a fucking candy cane, just hurry up and  _ fuck me _ .” He demanded, spreading his legs as wide as they could go and his confidence was boosted to whole new levels when he saw a blush spread across Hal’s stupid smug little rat like face. He realized a bit too late that they didn’t have any lube and there was no way they were doing this dry but his concerns were diminished when Hal suddenly ripped open a lube packet that seemingly popped up out of nowhere along with a condom. Where was he getting this stuff?? When did he pull those out??

“Hal.. Were you planning a jerk off sesh?” He questioned, more confused than judgmental.

“I- Wha- No! Shut up! Do you want this or not?!” Hal flushed, glaring down at him.   
“Hey, I’m not judging, sometimes a guy just has to jerk it in a public bathroom on his college campus. You know, that’s not weird or perverted whatsoever.” He sneered, grinning when Hal rolled his eyes and started slipping on the condom. Point D-Stri.

“Do you need any prep?” Hal asked bitterly once he got the condom on, smearing the weirdly lukewarm lube on his rim. Man, this position was already starting to get uncomfortable.

“No, just- Fuckin’ put it in before I leave.” He wiggled down a bit more so his head wasn’t in such a weird position but wiggling down at apparently a very bad idea because Hal’s cock was  _ right there _ and fuck, it was so god damn hot and hard already, it made him even more horny than he was before. It’s been way too fucking long since he’s had a good dicking down.

Hal began to slowly push in, the feeling lighting up his insides like fire. Obviously, it wasn’t mind blowingly amazing at first but having someone this close to him felt incredible in a way he couldn’t exactly describe. There wasn’t a lot of pain either, which was to be expected since he’s been masturbating via toys since he found out about the wonders of the prostate but once the head of his cock was fully seated inside of him, thats when a bit of the ‘burning’ started. Honestly, he was used to it at this point.

“Fuck, who knew a slut like you would be so tight?” Hal murmured, his eyes shut and he had this.. Cute blissed out look on his face. Wait a fucking minute. Hal was not fucking cute, he was the god damn spawn of Satan.

“Yeah, and who knew a dweeb like you didn’t know how to use his cock properly? Oh right, I did.” He rolled his eyes, wanting him to get a move on. The gentle touch was doing absolutely nothing for him and-

His thoughts got cut off by Hal suddenly pushing all at once, the air nearly getting knocked out of him as he started a fast, unforgiving pace. He was sure Hal was saying something but he couldn’t hear him over the blood rushing through his ears and the dick in between his legs needing stimulation. He felt like his entire world was getting shattered apart as Hal lifted his legs up and pushed them towards his chest, fucking him deep and hard. He knew he must have looked ridiculous with his eyes rolling back and his mouth hanging open but he didn’t have enough brain power to stop himself and the second he felt Hal brush against his prostate, his thoughts shattered into a million pieces and he was left an empty flesh light that was formally a man.

Wet slapping noises echoed off the walls of the bathroom, making their activity loud and clear to any passerbys. Someone was making weird moaning noises and it took Dirk shamefully long to realize it was him making those noises, sounding like a fucking pornstar trying to get her moneys worth and it didn’t help that he was getting fucked in one of his favorite positions, in one of his favorite fucking scenarios. Bent in half on a dirty bathroom counter, used like a sex doll and sounding like a ghost getting fucked by a vibrator, one of those pink balloon ones.

“Fucking- God yes!” He moaned out, tilting his head to the side when Hal leaned down to kiss his neck. He couldn’t help but grab his shoulders as dig his nails into his skin, probably leaving scratch marks but he couldn’t even fucking care. He couldn’t even give a fuck about Hal or what he’s done or how much of an asshole he was, the only thing he gave a fuck about was the dick inside of him and how badly he wanted it fucking him all the time. He started feeling the familiar heat pool in his stomach, his dick and ass becoming more sensitive, his skin rising with goosebumps and right as it all was about to come crashing down, Hal stopped. He would never admit to the whine that left his throat or the way his legs tried to bring Hal closer by pushing against his lower back but the silently begging did nothing in the progression towards his orgasm as Hal pulled out anyway and rolled off the condom, not even tying it off before tossing it into the trash can. He ducked under Dirks bundle of pants and tucked himself back into his jeans, smirking down at Dirks flushed and probably disgusting looking face. 

“Thanks for the quickie, slut.” He practically purred, blowing him a kiss before waltzing right out, leaving him hard, horny and a complete mess.

He was going to kill Hal. He was going to find him and kill him. How  _ dare _ he leave him like this?! He slowly got up, standing on wobbly legs and shuffled to one of the stalls to clean himself up, disorientated and still hard as a fucking rock. He jerked himself off to the thought of getting his revenge, tying Hal down and getting exactly what was stolen from him, making Hal pay for humiliating him over and over again. God, he was going to fucking destroy that man if it’s the last thing he’ll ever fucking do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> depending on the feedback this gets, i might add a few more chapters but it just depends  
> you can follow me on valerian-valentine-2 on tumblr and ask me questions there or just message me!


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